( Jayce wanted this for a long time. He's always been quick to touch Viktor whenever he felt like it was okay. On his back, his shoulder, his arm, little gestures that he thought were within their boundaries. Maybe they were boundaries he created for himself because he wanted to do more. He wanted to pull Viktor into his arms just like this.
Viktor lets him too. He's folded into Jayce's embrace and rested his cheek against him, and Jayce lifts a hand to run soothingly through his hair. The sex they had was intense and necessary to get them here, but he finds this intimacy just as satisfying. It's not a question for him how he could still love Viktor after everything he saw and now knows. He just does. It's simple in the end. This is the man he's loved for years, who has been everything to his heart. His partner and best friend and the love of his life. How to stay angry at him was the hardest part.)
Let's run with the theory that it was just suppression first. I don't think these were their final forms, they didn't look like people at all when I saw them, so there was a step in between now and then.
( Jayce doesn't know what that was, since all he saw was the aftermath. The robotic beings that chased him didn't look like people at all, unlike the corpses that were made of trees. So whatever wiped everyone else out, they didn't really seem human anymore. It would make sense that there was a secondary change to get them to that form. Who knows, maybe his actions would have caused it, if he chose a different way. They'll never know now. Viktor's seen for himself what Jayce envisions so he knows his creatures were different.
He pulls back but still keeps Viktor in his arms, leaning down to press their foreheads together, staying close within his embrace. Viktor needs him, he needs to lean on him and know that he can come back from this. Viktor's done this for him too, that's what partners do.)
I should have told you all of this before we had sex. It wasn't right of me to prioritize my desire over the truth.
( And yet, he can't find it in him to regret it. He should have told him but at the same time, Jayce needed it to remember being human. Their time together brought him back to his body and to his heart, made him more than the feverish survivor he became. He can know intellectually that he was doing the wrong thing while emotionally being thankful for it.)
But if we figure all this out, if we fix it ... maybe we can try again?
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Viktor lets him too. He's folded into Jayce's embrace and rested his cheek against him, and Jayce lifts a hand to run soothingly through his hair. The sex they had was intense and necessary to get them here, but he finds this intimacy just as satisfying. It's not a question for him how he could still love Viktor after everything he saw and now knows. He just does. It's simple in the end. This is the man he's loved for years, who has been everything to his heart. His partner and best friend and the love of his life. How to stay angry at him was the hardest part.)
Let's run with the theory that it was just suppression first. I don't think these were their final forms, they didn't look like people at all when I saw them, so there was a step in between now and then.
( Jayce doesn't know what that was, since all he saw was the aftermath. The robotic beings that chased him didn't look like people at all, unlike the corpses that were made of trees. So whatever wiped everyone else out, they didn't really seem human anymore. It would make sense that there was a secondary change to get them to that form. Who knows, maybe his actions would have caused it, if he chose a different way. They'll never know now. Viktor's seen for himself what Jayce envisions so he knows his creatures were different.
He pulls back but still keeps Viktor in his arms, leaning down to press their foreheads together, staying close within his embrace. Viktor needs him, he needs to lean on him and know that he can come back from this. Viktor's done this for him too, that's what partners do.)
I should have told you all of this before we had sex. It wasn't right of me to prioritize my desire over the truth.
( And yet, he can't find it in him to regret it. He should have told him but at the same time, Jayce needed it to remember being human. Their time together brought him back to his body and to his heart, made him more than the feverish survivor he became. He can know intellectually that he was doing the wrong thing while emotionally being thankful for it.)
But if we figure all this out, if we fix it ... maybe we can try again?