I choose to love you in silence because in silence I find no rejection [viktor + jayce]

[wildrune]

for beautifulimperfection

and in silence no one owns you but me

[ continued from here ]

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[wildrune]

[ Jayce embraces him so easily, freely, without restraint. And Viktor is sure, then, that Jayce must be the most forgiving man alive. He has seen single-handedly the destruction Viktor is capable of. They are surrounded by people he has mentally violated. And yet, Jayce still holds him.

Tentatively, Viktor's arms creep around Jayce's waist. There is so much bare skin on offer, warm against the metal of this form.

With his cheek pressed against Jayce's collarbone, he theorizes: ]

I am unsure if I suppressed their emotions and personalities, or if I did away with them entirely. I suspect the former to be true, as I can see their souls in the astral space I showed you, so my theory is that I removed the bulk of their souls and shifted them to reside in the arcane rather than the physical. If that assumption is true, returning them to themselves should be a relatively simple process.

[ He sighs, the metallic resonance to it heavy. ]

If, however, I obliterated their emotional self, then I would have to construct it again from memory and whatever echoes reside in their mental space. That process would be lengthy, and highly prone to error.

[beautifulimperfection]

( Jayce wanted this for a long time. He's always been quick to touch Viktor whenever he felt like it was okay. On his back, his shoulder, his arm, little gestures that he thought were within their boundaries. Maybe they were boundaries he created for himself because he wanted to do more. He wanted to pull Viktor into his arms just like this.

Viktor lets him too. He's folded into Jayce's embrace and rested his cheek against him, and Jayce lifts a hand to run soothingly through his hair. The sex they had was intense and necessary to get them here, but he finds this intimacy just as satisfying. It's not a question for him how he could still love Viktor after everything he saw and now knows. He just does. It's simple in the end. This is the man he's loved for years, who has been everything to his heart. His partner and best friend and the love of his life. How to stay angry at him was the hardest part.)

Let's run with the theory that it was just suppression first. I don't think these were their final forms, they didn't look like people at all when I saw them, so there was a step in between now and then.

( Jayce doesn't know what that was, since all he saw was the aftermath. The robotic beings that chased him didn't look like people at all, unlike the corpses that were made of trees. So whatever wiped everyone else out, they didn't really seem human anymore. It would make sense that there was a secondary change to get them to that form. Who knows, maybe his actions would have caused it, if he chose a different way. They'll never know now. Viktor's seen for himself what Jayce envisions so he knows his creatures were different.

He pulls back but still keeps Viktor in his arms, leaning down to press their foreheads together, staying close within his embrace. Viktor needs him, he needs to lean on him and know that he can come back from this. Viktor's done this for him too, that's what partners do.)

I should have told you all of this before we had sex. It wasn't right of me to prioritize my desire over the truth.

( And yet, he can't find it in him to regret it. He should have told him but at the same time, Jayce needed it to remember being human. Their time together brought him back to his body and to his heart, made him more than the feverish survivor he became. He can know intellectually that he was doing the wrong thing while emotionally being thankful for it.)

But if we figure all this out, if we fix it ... maybe we can try again?

[wildrune]

Jayce. [ Viktor's rebuttal comes paired with a small, amused smile. ] You could not have gotten me to talk last night even if you had tried.

[ Because Viktor has always been a man with a one-track mind, no matter what he turned that mind to. Work, usually. His commune, now. Last night, it had been getting his hands on Jayce as quickly as possible. He finds himself drawn back into those sweet memories, a tempting distraction from everything else that has unfolded before him. Viktor sweeps his hands down Jayce's sides, settling on his hips, one thumb idly stroking the crest of bone. ]

You will, unfortunately, have to get dressed before we begin fixing this. You are a terrible distraction, on display like this.

[ His returning emotions feel so horribly unstable, flipping wildly between guilt and want and horror and desire. He wants to march outside and shove everybody's souls back in their bodies. He wants to push Jayce back onto the bed and ride him until he can't think anymore. He wants to exile himself to some far off land where he can never hurt anybody ever again.

Viktor bites back a sigh, and separates himself from Jayce, stooping to pick up his robe.

He has to fix these people first. To do anything else would be unconscionable. ]

If these are not their final forms, then let us hope I can fix what I did. What will become of this place after that, I do not know. I can hardly imagine they will want to stay.

[beautifulimperfection]

( Jayce laughs. It's a strange feeling. He hasn't laughed since before the attack on the council, since he had a light enough heart capable of it.)

It's true, neither of us was in the mood for talking.

( They crashed together with a fervid energy that came from equal amounts of pain and love. He only wishes that they could still be in bed together, enjoying the aftermath of finally getting something they both deeply wanted, but he had to ruin it this morning with his paranoia. But then it brought them here, which is where they have to be. They have to stop what could happen. It is more important than their personal wants.

He's still surprised when Viktor points out he's a distraction and he glances down, having forgotten entirely that he's naked. The touches of Viktor's hands on him should have reminded him, but it's been an overwhelming few minutes.)

Oh ... right. We'll ... circle back to that.

( The nudity. And distractions. Maybe. If they're lucky. Jayce goes over to where Viktor brought him clothes earlier and starts tugging them on. They fit, of course, Viktor knows his size, although he's thinned out from lack of food and he's less bulk than pure muscle at this point. He feels more like a person when he does that though, so he thinks it was probably for the best. It's amazing what food, a bath, and some clothes can do for a person who was lacking in all of them only a day before.)

It's not, they were completely inorganic when I saw them. There was nothing human left of them. The way the other you talked, at some point he thought he was ridding people of imperfections by changing them.

( And that doesn't seem to be the case here. Currently Viktor has changed and healed people, yes, but he isn't trying to dominate them entirely. Or pinpointed the human things within them that have to go. They're not that far gone. That's the important part, and what he'll keep reminding them both.

Now fully dressed, he returns to Viktor and reaches out to snag his hand, threading their fingers together. )

I told him I had to find a way to stop it. We're going to do that, the two of us.