piscesnebula | so, baby, can we dance? [ adora + catra ]

"Sooo, I don't know about you, but I definitely don't know how to cook. But we have plenty here, I think we'll be okay for a while." She can't help but lean into the warmth of Catra, realizing this is the feeling that's been missing. The closer they are, the better it feels.

"Hey! I didn't just think of it, I—sometimes I didn't know if I was good enough as just me. You've made it better, but the feeling was there for so long." She doesn't mean to shift the tone into something that might be a little more serious, making a little sandwich out of the small bread rolls, chicken, and small squares of cheese. It gives her something to look at while she talks.

"I know you thought...well, I don't actually know what you thought, but I think you thought I felt like I was better than everyone else, but I never have. I've never thought that. Shadow Weaver made sure of a lot of things, and one of them was making sure the praise I always wanted was just out of reach."

Adora finally looks up, holding her mini-sandwich.

"We don't have to talk about this, Catra, but I think maybe it's better if we do? I should've talked to you before and told you what it was like in my head, but I didn't want you to think I was weak."

After her voice breaks on the last word, Adora swallows, clears her throat, and takes a bite of food, giving herself a reason not to talk for a second.

Yeah, that's... a point. Catra doesn't know how to cook either. But, like, how hard can it be? Raw meat + fire = food, right? Whatever, they'll figure it out.

And that's when Adora decides that it's time for Feelings Talk(tm), and a quiet look of dread steals over Catra's expression. She can probably figure out cooking, but she doesn't know if she'll ever be able to figure out talking about emotions. She doesn't want to, she doesn't like it, and yet it's apparently necessary to have a honest, healthy relationship between people.

There's a long, long stretch of silence after Adora's last word. Catra's claws nervously shred a bread roll apart.

"You were always enough as just you, Adora," she finally manages to say, quietly, more raspy than usual. "Shadow Weaver put you up on a pedestal that you could never reach, and treated like you the golden child while always telling you that you weren't enough."

Catra doesn't know when Adora got wise to Shadow Weaver's manipulations. Maybe it the was moment she got the sword and met Glimmer and Bow. But Catra had known for a long time before that. She'd seen through Shadow Weaver's bullshit and her propaganda for years. But she still hadn't been able to stop it from emotionally affecting her.

"I never thought you were weak. I was... jealous," Catra admits reluctantly. "Shadow Weaver always tuned battle scenarios too hard for you, but you always nearly beat them anyway. She complimented you sometimes, even if it was just scraps. I used to get so angry at you for... I don't know, being you, being Shadow Weaver's favorite, being so good and strong and noble. I knew, deep down, that none of it was your fault. But. Sometimes I just didn't want to admit that."

The lump in Adora's throat makes it hard to swallow, so for now, she puts down the makeshift sandwich and looks at Catra. This doesn't have to be a bad conversation, but something doesn't have to be bad to hurt.

It took too long for Adora to really get it, all of it, and by the time she did, it was too late. The damage was done, and she knows that's why she was so hard on Glimmer for trusting Shadow Weaver. Adora had, and look were it landed her: a life that wasn't hers at all, manufactured from the time she was pulled through a portal.

"I thought if I was the best at everything I could protect you better. I couldn't and don't want to change you, but I tried to do what I could. If I was the favorite, then I could get Shadow Weaver to go easy on you." There's a pause before Adora looks right into Catra's eyes. "It wasn't enough." She can say that now; Catra isn't alone in having things to apologize for, and Adora doesn't think they need to necessarily hash them all out, but for this one, she'll be brave and go first.

"I thought you were tough, and didn't care about anything, especially not Shadow Weaver. I'm sorry I didn't see what I should have, even when it was right in front of me. I will never leave you behind again. No matter what, Catra.

Maybe it shouldn't be a surprise to hear to hear that part of the reason Adora strove so hard to be the best was so that Shadow Weaver would go a little easier on Catra, but... it's a surprise. But in hindsight, it makes a lot of sense. The punishments had always been a lot worse when she was younger, and had eased up a bit when she'd gotten older. The red wracking pain of that magic hadn't been as bad. Catra had just assumed that Shadow Weaver had just started ignoring her even more as she'd gotten older, but...

It makes sense that she'd be less prone to punishing if she was more satisfied with Adora's work.

Adora's confession about her assumption that Catra had been too tough to care about anything brings a wry little smirk to Catra's lips. That had been exactly the impression Catra had wanted to give off back then, so, mission accomplished.

"I'm sorry I wasn't brave enough to go with you."

Catra reaches out, careful of her claws, brushing a long strand of blonde behind Adora's ear. Just that simple touch is infused with so much fondness she can barely stand it.

"You left me behind, but I didn't give you a choice," Catra admits. "I was too scared to leave. I thought it was because I didn't want to throw everything we'd built with the Horde, but... I couldn't admit to myself that you were more important than that. I was so twisted up in the idea of you as the golden child that I thought I could finally prove my worth when you were gone, but I never realized that it was just spite and fear driving me."

"I asked you to change your life for me without looking back, and that probably wasn't fair. I guess I just thought it was never the Horde you stayed in the Fright Zone for." Adora has to look away for a second, not ready to cry, not yet, and she blinks away the blurriness. "But that was probably selfish. Once again, making it about me, right?" she says with a self-deprecating laugh, finally looking at Catra again.

Then she keeps talking, and Adora presses her cheek into Catra's palm. Her words make all the effort not to cry for nothing, and two tears spill over. "You've always been worth everything to me, Catra." Closing her eyes, her hand covers the one resting against her cheek.

"I would've fought off a hundred armies, just for you, even before She-Ra."

Catra gently rubs away one of those tears with her thumb, and leans in, pressing her forehead to Adora's, her eyes falling closed as she struggles with just how overwhelmed that one little sentence has her feeling.

You've always been worth everything to me.

It's everything she's always wanted to hear, but she doesn't know if she would have been ready to hear it before now. Back then, back in the full throes of her fury when she'd been right on the verge of destroying the whole planet, she wouldn't have believed Adora if she'd said that. Now, it has her heart pounding with how much it means to her.

"You're everything to me, too," she murmurs scratchily. When her eyes open, her vision's a little blurry with tears threatening to fall. "And I'm going to try to be worthy of that from now on. Even if I'm... not quite sure how to be on the good side."

It comes out sheepish, with a rueful little smile.

"You make it look so easy. Like you were always meant to be the hero."

Adora laughs but it's warm and not at Catra as she reaches out and wraps her arms all the way around her. She doesn't really care about the food right now, and instead speaks quietly against her neck.

"You know what? I wanted it to look that way. I wanted you to be proud of me."

She says it softly into Catra's neck before pulling back and looking at her. "Now I'm proud of you. I see everything you're doing, I promise. And I know some days are hard, but you haven't given up. That means so much to me."

After a pause, Adora wets her lips, her gaze drifting to Catra's mouth before meeting her eyes again.

"I need you to believe that. And that you're always gonna be mine, no matter where we are, and no matter what we do."

Adora's not wrong. It has been hard, harder than Catra really knows how to cope with. It's not just getting stared at weird by a lot of people in Bright Moon, either, it's trying to regulate her own bad habits. Her tendency to snap, to push people away, to get angry over small things, to pick fights. She'd never exactly had a healthy example of how to behave -- and neither had Adora, but Adora turned out so much better than her.

Now, Catra has to figure out what the new Catra looks like. And she's... not sure what that will be, what new kind of creature she might become. But if there's one thing that brings her comfort, it's Adora. Adora's loyalty, and steadfastness, and refusal to ever fully give up on her.

"I like the sound of that," she admits, her smile brightening. "Being yours. And you being mine, too."

Adora's so close, and she smells so nice, and Catra hadn't missed that glance at her lips. It makes her own gaze dip downward, lingering.

"Can I kiss you?" she asks scratchily, amidst the hum of the engine and the stars flying past the front window.

Adora's heart slams in her chest, thudding so hard she's sure Catra can hear it. But still, she manages a soft and warm smile before nodding. Leaning in, she lets her hand rest against Catra's cheek before leaning in to brush their lips together. It's even better than the first time, when everything was terrifying and unsure.

This is everything she thought about when they were both still in the Horde, and she brings both arms around her neck to pull her closer, wanting her as close as possible, unwilling to let her go. Even when she needs a breath she leans in again, a hand resting against the back of Catra's head as she parts her lips first, inviting her as close as she wants to be.

Catra's still not sure if she regrets or loves the circumstances of their first kiss. She'd been terrified that Adora was going to die, she'd barely been able to hear anything over the rabbit-quick thumping of her heart and the anxiety churning in her gut. Their kiss, when Adora had opened her eyes, had been pure relief. The purest, most true emotion Catra has ever felt.

But she thinks she likes this kiss better.

Adora's not dying. The world doesn't need saving. It's just the two of them (plus Melog) in a ship that's hurtling through the stars, and the soft press of Adora's lips against hers.

There's a break, briefly, and Catra winds her arms around Adora's waist to tug her in closer, and parts her lips, and the kiss gets a whole lot deeper, then, Catra's tongue playfully exploring as she hums happily. It brings out the tiniest of purrs, a faint rumble in her chest before she draws back, eyes hooded in smug regard, cheeks pink under her freckles.

"Wow, maybe we should have emotional conversations more often, if that's how they end," Catra drawls.

Adora will always wish their first kiss had been different, that she'd been brave enough to kiss Catra before. But regardless, their love saved the world, so she can't really regret it. By the time this kiss breaks she's practically in Catra's lap, one hand holding onto her at the waist. Laughing softly, she lets her nose nuzzle against Catra's, closing her eyes and breathing her in. This is real and not just one of her rare really good dreams.

"Maybe we should. Maybe they lead to something amazing in the end." Sitting back, she pulls Catra with her so that their positions are reversed and she's holding onto her in her lap. Her own cheeks are red, and she's just a little breathless.

"I think we should probably keep kissing. What do you think?" She's too nervous to suggest they go to their room now, even though it feels like she's spent forever wanting more.

Catra figures that the real point of Big Emotional Conversations is probably to, like... work through issues, or say stuff that needs to be said, or whatever. But as far she's concerned, the real point is: she gets to kiss Adora at the end, and Adora gets to look like that, all kiss-blushed and bright eyed.

"Wow, right in Darla's cockpit?" Catra puts on a scandalized expression, but she leans in to press little kisses over Adora's cheek, the corner of her lips, her nose. Just exploring. "That's bold. Anybody could see us."

(Not unless there's aliens crawling on the forward window.)

"I think I can get onboard with that plan, though," Catra hums, and catches Adora in another proper kiss. "We've got a few hours until we get to that star. I think kissing is a great way to kill that time."

so, baby, can we dance? [ adora + catra ]

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asdlklsdj sorry for the wait i forgot it was my turn, rip 💀

you're fine! (also, I tossed Adora on the TDM for Abraxas jsyk 👀)

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